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You're Sabotaging Your Own Success

A few days ago I met with the owner of a medium-sized company. He was sharing his ideas & strategies to grow his operation and make more progress. His ideas were great, his research was thorough and he seemed to have done his homework.


Whilst we were discussing something, a manager of his interrupted the meeting. He apologised and said he needed an urgent decision to be made on an issue the company was facing. They discussed it and the owner reached a decision which the manager accepted. On my way out, I passed the same manager who told me he couldn’t understand why the owner (his boss) had made such a decision. His decision was going to hurt the company.

After advising him to take his concerns to his boss, he merely shrugged and said, “It’s no use. Nothing will happen and I’ll just come out of the whole thing looking like a fool”. Think about that for a moment…do the people around you believe that telling you the truth is of no use? Are they scared of telling you what they actually think? Are they scared you’ll ‘explode’? One of the single biggest reasons we don’t progress is because we unknowingly shun those who can help us progress the most.

If the people you live,work & interact with can’t be honest with you are you really making the most possible progress? You pay a doctor to find out what’s wrong with you but you don’t order him to only give you good news.In fact, you pay him to be brutally honest with you. What’s the point of hiring experienced, highly-trained employees if they can’t tell you what’s wrong?

If you can’t honestly & openly state your opinions & thoughts to your employer, you’re not going to get the job satisfaction you started out wanting (You spend at least 7-8 hours a day at your job – you deserve to be contented with it seeing that you’re giving it a third of your day, 5 or 6 days a week). If you can’t talk to your spouse about the issues that trouble you, your marriage isn’t going to bring you the fulfillment you seek. If your spouse can’t talk to you, how are you going to build a life together? If your children are scared of your responses, they’re going to hide their lives from you. How do you fix this? Assure the people around you that they can talk to you without the fear of being insulted or subjected to angry responses. Don’t expect honesty if you can’t repay it with gracious forgiveness.

Forgive what you perceive to be arrogance when a team member says that your idea probably isn’t going to work. Forgive what you assume to be ingratitude when your wife says she isn’t happy with the way you treat her; when your husband says he doesn’t always want to talk to you because of the way you respond. Look past the stock-standard emotional response we display when we don’t like what we hear. To make serious progress and live a life that’s defined by the brilliance of your natural talents, stop letting your ego speak for you. Be open to other points of view, be open to change, be open to a different path to progress.

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